Idea via MNSpeak.
In other news:
- Television kills
- Sushi is unsafe
- New research uncovers the dirt on bellybutton lint
- Polka music popularity remains steady
- Disease in the wolf population
- Be wary of French people
- Passive aggressiveness is on the rise
- Fundamentalists increase their flock
- Drink beer every day
- Be nice to your mother
- Celebrity-driven news ever more popular
- Conspiracy theorists assail skeptics
- The Internet is your friend
- Hummers are dangerous
- New species of worm discovered
- The downside of safe sex [adult content warning]
- Comprehensive sex ed saves lives
- Time marches on
- Americans urged to get better sleep
- Weekly World News will be back on newsstands
- Public service announcement on itchy pants
- And finally, new disturbing intelligence is partially declassified! [You heard it here first!]
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