One of my favorite Simpsons moments. The best part is when attorney Lionel Hutz reacts to the news that they've drawn Judge Snyder.
I'm sure some people have had real experiences with attorneys that aren't all that different from this one.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
Reactionary, nationalistic Americans to do the patriotic thing and buy Russian or French vodka
A mini-controversy has erupted. Apparently, Swedish-made Absolut Vodka ran an advertisement in Mexico that appealed to Mexican nationalistic pride at the expense of Americans. The ad shows a map of Mexico with its pre-Mexican-American War boundaries that included a sizable majority of the current western United States.
Patriotic Americans are outraged at this serious threat to the territorial integrity of the United States. The very audacity of a foreign company appealing to the patriotism of its customers! It's not like Toyota advertises their trucks with American patriotism or any American company would appeal to the locals outside of the U.S. borders. At least one upset citizen has vowed never to purchase Absolut Vodka again, but instead Stoli or Grey Goose vodka.
It seems there is a sector of the population who is really up in arms on any perceived threat to the United States. These are most likely the same folks who think immigration is ruining the country. Some of the nuttier ones are worried about a "New World Order" or "North American Union" conspiracy.
Since any supporting evidence is used to further these conspiracy theories, even satire, here' s my contribution to rile the feathers of the reactionary conspiracy theorists. North America, perhaps less than fifty years from now? For added insult to injury, the capital of the new union is Detroit. Cuba gets southern Florida!
Patriotic Americans are outraged at this serious threat to the territorial integrity of the United States. The very audacity of a foreign company appealing to the patriotism of its customers! It's not like Toyota advertises their trucks with American patriotism or any American company would appeal to the locals outside of the U.S. borders. At least one upset citizen has vowed never to purchase Absolut Vodka again, but instead Stoli or Grey Goose vodka.
It seems there is a sector of the population who is really up in arms on any perceived threat to the United States. These are most likely the same folks who think immigration is ruining the country. Some of the nuttier ones are worried about a "New World Order" or "North American Union" conspiracy.
Since any supporting evidence is used to further these conspiracy theories, even satire, here' s my contribution to rile the feathers of the reactionary conspiracy theorists. North America, perhaps less than fifty years from now? For added insult to injury, the capital of the new union is Detroit. Cuba gets southern Florida!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
New blog on Minneapolis-St. Paul
I've started a new, separate blog about the Twin Cities. Ooops, sorry about that. It's not the Twin Cities, it's Minneapolis-St. Paul. The blog is called Minneapolis versus St. Paul.
The cities formerly called twins have had a longstanding rivalry. The rivalry is often friendly and sometimes ridiculous. Like the time where the two cities adopted different daylight saving calendars and general confusion over what time it actually was ensued for a couple of weeks.
Minnesotans know that the two cities have their differences. Minneapolis and St. Paul have their own separate character and history. What this means is you'll have some strong opinions about the alleged superiority of one over the other.
An effort is now underway to scientifically evaluate and measure the ways one city is better than the other. Over time, we will be able to determine once and for all which city is the best.
Suggestions for comparisons are welcome.
The cities formerly called twins have had a longstanding rivalry. The rivalry is often friendly and sometimes ridiculous. Like the time where the two cities adopted different daylight saving calendars and general confusion over what time it actually was ensued for a couple of weeks.Minnesotans know that the two cities have their differences. Minneapolis and St. Paul have their own separate character and history. What this means is you'll have some strong opinions about the alleged superiority of one over the other.
An effort is now underway to scientifically evaluate and measure the ways one city is better than the other. Over time, we will be able to determine once and for all which city is the best.
Suggestions for comparisons are welcome.
Swansongate continues
Last week, the Legislative Auditor told a House Committee that he would begin a "preliminary inquiry" into the allegations of wrongdoings in the Attorney General's office. His inquiry would not include the alleged anti-union activities. Apparently, non-partisan lawyers have told the DFL House leadership that such an investigation may constitute an interference in labor relations and violate federal labor law.
Rep. Steve Simon (DFL-St. Louis Park) had been pushing the Legislative Auditor, Jim Nobles, to begin an investigation until Nobles said he would initiate it voluntarily without a legislative committee motion. But here's the question, is Simon carefully doing his constitutional duty by pressing for an investigation into the highest ranking DFLer's alleged wrongdoing? Or, is Simon have a personal vendetta against Swanson and is exacting his revenge with the help of a runaway union leadership and former DFL House leader and Hatch nemesis Matt Entenza?
Some DFLers in the Swanson-Hatch camp believe more in the latter. Adding to the inter-party fighting, Minn Post reporter G.R. Anderson has uncovered an email sent by Rep. Debra Hilstrom (DFL-Brooklyn Center) to other DFL House members. Hilstrom forwards information from former Attorney General Mike Hatch and Swanson mentor that suggests that Simon is being driven to take down Swanson because he was "involuntarily transfered" by Swanson when they both worked in the AG's office under Hatch.
Hilstrom and Simon have reportedly already talked and resolved their differences. Though Simon noted, in part: "I think the implication that my transfer years ago to another division makes me a disgruntled employee is absurd and makes it look like [Hatch and Swanson] have something to hide."
No news yet on when the Office of the Legislative Auditor will release its preliminary findings. Many eyes will be on that report, but it will still be only part of the puzzle since the union-busting allegations remain unresolved.
Rep. Steve Simon (DFL-St. Louis Park) had been pushing the Legislative Auditor, Jim Nobles, to begin an investigation until Nobles said he would initiate it voluntarily without a legislative committee motion. But here's the question, is Simon carefully doing his constitutional duty by pressing for an investigation into the highest ranking DFLer's alleged wrongdoing? Or, is Simon have a personal vendetta against Swanson and is exacting his revenge with the help of a runaway union leadership and former DFL House leader and Hatch nemesis Matt Entenza?
Some DFLers in the Swanson-Hatch camp believe more in the latter. Adding to the inter-party fighting, Minn Post reporter G.R. Anderson has uncovered an email sent by Rep. Debra Hilstrom (DFL-Brooklyn Center) to other DFL House members. Hilstrom forwards information from former Attorney General Mike Hatch and Swanson mentor that suggests that Simon is being driven to take down Swanson because he was "involuntarily transfered" by Swanson when they both worked in the AG's office under Hatch.
Hilstrom and Simon have reportedly already talked and resolved their differences. Though Simon noted, in part: "I think the implication that my transfer years ago to another division makes me a disgruntled employee is absurd and makes it look like [Hatch and Swanson] have something to hide."
No news yet on when the Office of the Legislative Auditor will release its preliminary findings. Many eyes will be on that report, but it will still be only part of the puzzle since the union-busting allegations remain unresolved.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Later bar hours in the Twin Cities?
I'm not a late night partier, but I still applauded Minnesota's move a couple years back to allow local municipalities to choose whether to have a 2:00 AM bar closing time instead of the previous statewide 1:00 AM closing. If you want to be seen as a fun and vibrant place in our world today, you can't be closing bars at 1:00 AM.
With the GOP convention looming in Minneapolis-St. Paul, state lawmakers are debating whether to temporarily allow even later bar closing times (until 4:00 AM!) and allow Sunday liquor sales around the time of the convention.
At first I was dismissive. Yeah, get the Republicans even more drunk and rowdy! That's just what we need. St. Paul City Council Member, David Thune, echoed this attitude by claiming his downtown constituents "don't want a bunch of puking Republican lobbyists on the streets at four in the morning."
Upon further reflection, I don't think it's a big deal. First, we have to remember that it's not just going to be Republicans and Republican lobbyists that will flood town around the convention. You'll have media reps from around the world, activists, bloggers, volunteers, etc. The puke will likely be bipartisan.
I wonder how many bars will really see an increase. Certainly, the downtown ones Thune is concerned with will probably fill up; but it's not like the neighborhood bar on the corner is going to be invaded by the Republican delegation from Louisiana or anything. They'll have their share of private events to go to at the University Club and all the hotels.
So downtown St. Paul might be a mess with more drinking, but it's going to be a mess anyways during the convention. Frankly, my guess is that a sizable number of the downtown St. Paul residents with the opportunity will find another place to be during the convention. Is the rest of the Twin Cities really going to have much of an impact from two more hours of drinking except for higher revenues? The Minneapolis downtown city council member, Lisa Goodman, sees this differently than Thune. She said, "We can be a cold Omaha or we can stand up and be a 24-hour city." Ouch! Take that Omaha!
To fellow Minnesotans I ask: Do you want to be seen as prudes by the rest of the country/world? Or do we want to be seen as a fun, festive place, and make some money off these visitors? I'll take a couple weeks of bipartisan puke. It's worth it.
And while they are at it, legislators should make the provision allowing Sunday sales permanent rather than temporary. Sometimes you run out of beer during the Sunday afternoon BBQ and need to restock. We shouldn't give the puritans even one day to mandate our habits.
With the GOP convention looming in Minneapolis-St. Paul, state lawmakers are debating whether to temporarily allow even later bar closing times (until 4:00 AM!) and allow Sunday liquor sales around the time of the convention.
At first I was dismissive. Yeah, get the Republicans even more drunk and rowdy! That's just what we need. St. Paul City Council Member, David Thune, echoed this attitude by claiming his downtown constituents "don't want a bunch of puking Republican lobbyists on the streets at four in the morning."
Upon further reflection, I don't think it's a big deal. First, we have to remember that it's not just going to be Republicans and Republican lobbyists that will flood town around the convention. You'll have media reps from around the world, activists, bloggers, volunteers, etc. The puke will likely be bipartisan.
I wonder how many bars will really see an increase. Certainly, the downtown ones Thune is concerned with will probably fill up; but it's not like the neighborhood bar on the corner is going to be invaded by the Republican delegation from Louisiana or anything. They'll have their share of private events to go to at the University Club and all the hotels.
So downtown St. Paul might be a mess with more drinking, but it's going to be a mess anyways during the convention. Frankly, my guess is that a sizable number of the downtown St. Paul residents with the opportunity will find another place to be during the convention. Is the rest of the Twin Cities really going to have much of an impact from two more hours of drinking except for higher revenues? The Minneapolis downtown city council member, Lisa Goodman, sees this differently than Thune. She said, "We can be a cold Omaha or we can stand up and be a 24-hour city." Ouch! Take that Omaha!
To fellow Minnesotans I ask: Do you want to be seen as prudes by the rest of the country/world? Or do we want to be seen as a fun, festive place, and make some money off these visitors? I'll take a couple weeks of bipartisan puke. It's worth it.
And while they are at it, legislators should make the provision allowing Sunday sales permanent rather than temporary. Sometimes you run out of beer during the Sunday afternoon BBQ and need to restock. We shouldn't give the puritans even one day to mandate our habits.
Friday, April 4, 2008
No more weather!
As part of a wave of staff cuts at CBS-owned stations across the country, weather forecaster personality Paul Douglas from the Twin Cities' WCCO has been let go.
I've never been a big Paul Douglas fan--I want the science and facts behind the weather, not the poetry--it strikes me as an odd move. I imagine that Douglas himself drives a portion of the audience to WCCO. He probably costs them a lot of money and I'm sure the network has looked at their market research closely. Still, it's strange. I know they still will have weather, as they have weather forecasters who are paid less than Douglas.
My preferred weather forecaster is Keith Marler on the Fox 9 morning show. He's upbeat, but gets to the point. I like that.
I've never been a big Paul Douglas fan--I want the science and facts behind the weather, not the poetry--it strikes me as an odd move. I imagine that Douglas himself drives a portion of the audience to WCCO. He probably costs them a lot of money and I'm sure the network has looked at their market research closely. Still, it's strange. I know they still will have weather, as they have weather forecasters who are paid less than Douglas.
My preferred weather forecaster is Keith Marler on the Fox 9 morning show. He's upbeat, but gets to the point. I like that.
Random invite
I got a random Evite invitation--and I'm not sure how. I opened up the email to find that I have been invited to the At Your Cervix Benefit Party! It's sponsored by the Smitten Kitten, "a progressive adult sex toys and equipment retailer." First, I wondered what exactly an "at your cervix party" was; and second, if having a cervix would be important part of participating.
It turns out that At Your Cervix is a documentary showing the problematic ways that medical schools teach (or don't) how to do cervical exams. Not having a cervix, I can't speak directly to the experience of having a bad or even normal cervical exam, but I'm told they can be no picnic in the park. And yet, cervical exams are a common and key part of women's medical experiences. They are something that you want done right.
One of the things the film looks at is the way that some schools allegedly cut corners, or at least smooth the corners over, when it comes to getting consent from patients to be used as practice subjects for future doctors and nurses. I have a friend who used to volunteer for this practice. I think she got paid a small stipend, but probably nothing that made it worthwhile in itself to have strangers of unknown skill give her pelvic exams. She saw it as a way to do her part in helping women receive good care down the road. Apparently, some schools don't hire subjects, but make students be the subjects themselves.
Here's a short clip:
I don't think I'm able to go to the party, but it looks like interesting event. The film is scheduled to come out this fall.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
More comedy
Here's a silly YouTube video I came across. With higher production values (think make-up and wig), they could be decent SNL cast members or something like that. They are Gabe and Jenny, apparently a comedy duo based in NYC.
Muppet Moment: Charles Grodin
From the best Muppet movie and the best human character in a Muppet movie...
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Web show: Parenting and Sex
Via Offsprung.com, a new comedy web show on the difficulty of parenting and sex coexisting. This is episode two: Up and Around and Shake It and Down! You don't have to see the first episode to enjoy this one with the "sex therapist."
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Urgent update on lefties
Idea via MNSpeak.
In other news:
- Television kills
- Sushi is unsafe
- New research uncovers the dirt on bellybutton lint
- Polka music popularity remains steady
- Disease in the wolf population
- Be wary of French people
- Passive aggressiveness is on the rise
- Fundamentalists increase their flock
- Drink beer every day
- Be nice to your mother
- Celebrity-driven news ever more popular
- Conspiracy theorists assail skeptics
- The Internet is your friend
- Hummers are dangerous
- New species of worm discovered
- The downside of safe sex [adult content warning]
- Comprehensive sex ed saves lives
- Time marches on
- Americans urged to get better sleep
- Weekly World News will be back on newsstands
- Public service announcement on itchy pants
- And finally, new disturbing intelligence is partially declassified! [You heard it here first!]
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