This is story of interest to parents and others. The public radio program "The Story" did a bit about a male nanny who cared for a toddler during his dad's losing battle with brain cancer. Despite the unfortunate use of the word "manny," it is a touching story.
And if you like the show, you can subscribe to its podcast (5 days a week) here.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Fathers as Mothers
My better half receives Self magazine. The October 2007 issue contains an interesting essay entitled: My husband is a better mother. I am usually not thrilled with the notion of a father involved in his child's life is like a mom. But the point of this essay is an investigation of the writer's conflicting attitudes on her and her husbands roles.
In short, both the parents work full-time out of the home, but the 20 month-old daughter has developed a close and even preferential relationship with her father. The writer (mother) has conflicting responses to it, but ends the piece in a predictable, but nice realization that it's great that her daughter has such a strong connection with her father.
In my experience, young kids may shift back in forth between mommy and daddy preference. For children over 12 months, usually it is the parent with whom they don't get to spend as much time. I don't think either of my daughters exhibit a strong parental preference, but that hasn't always been and won't always be the case.
I assume I'm not referring to anything groundbreaking for parents, particularly in families where there is a lopsidedness in time with one or the other parents. Though it is a paradox, observed in this essay, that often you'll have one parent who seems to be the fun, preferred one, but the other is better equipped to respond and anticipate issues.
I've only dealt with the first four years. I'm sure new dynamics come into play at later years. Indeed, my observation of families with teenage girls has me anticipating a couple years where the mother-daughter relationship will be challenged while I may have a comparatively easier time. We'll see.
In short, both the parents work full-time out of the home, but the 20 month-old daughter has developed a close and even preferential relationship with her father. The writer (mother) has conflicting responses to it, but ends the piece in a predictable, but nice realization that it's great that her daughter has such a strong connection with her father.
In my experience, young kids may shift back in forth between mommy and daddy preference. For children over 12 months, usually it is the parent with whom they don't get to spend as much time. I don't think either of my daughters exhibit a strong parental preference, but that hasn't always been and won't always be the case.
I assume I'm not referring to anything groundbreaking for parents, particularly in families where there is a lopsidedness in time with one or the other parents. Though it is a paradox, observed in this essay, that often you'll have one parent who seems to be the fun, preferred one, but the other is better equipped to respond and anticipate issues.
I've only dealt with the first four years. I'm sure new dynamics come into play at later years. Indeed, my observation of families with teenage girls has me anticipating a couple years where the mother-daughter relationship will be challenged while I may have a comparatively easier time. We'll see.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Bathrooms
When I was a kid in a public place with my mom and would have to go to the bathroom, she would have me accompany her in the women's for the longest time. This was a frequent event as I had the world's smallest bladder and had to go to the bathroom all the time and everywhere. I don't know how old I was before she let me go in the men's by myslef, but it took long enough that there were a couple awkward years there. She was worried about creeps in the men's room.
Senator Craig reminds us again of the creeping kinds of things that can go on in public bathrooms, but are we paranoid? Are we really taking much of a risk by letting our child go into a bathroom alone while we camp out mere feet from the bathroom door?
Recently I had lunch with a friend. When the 4 year-old announced a bathroom need, my friend nicely offered to accompany her to the women's bathroom. I thought it was nice mostly so I could keep an eye on the baby. I bring her in the men's bathroom when she needs to go again an hour or so later. I've heard from one source that parents should feel comfortable bringing their opposite-sex children in public bathrooms up to 7 years in age. I think 'M' is almost there though. Mostly, she needs to learn to flush and wash hands every time. I should probably stop dragging her into the men's room pretty soon. Am I thinking about this wrong?
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